BRs who’ve been listening to us lately have heard some ‘predictions’ read during our feedback section from our listener Tessa. Here is the latest!
….SPOILERS?….Darth Vader is related to Luke Skywalker……
The story so far:
Those of you who have been listening week to week will remember that Danerys has eloped with Victarion – the meathead of her dreams – on an extended, lusty, reaving honeymoon cruise with dragons in tow. Meanwhile, His Grace the good King Joffrey, after faking his own death, has finished his faceless man training in the House of Black and White and set sail on an undisclosed quest with the mysterious Bubba Bo Babble and crew.
The winds were fine and Joffrey was standing at the prow in high spirits.
“Your Grace!” called a voice behind him, “there’s someone you must needs meet”.
Bubba Bo Babble approached the bow with a handsome musician in tow. “This is my indispensable ally, Matt Schmendrick. He will help us on our quest for justice”.
“I knew a minstrel once” mused Joffrey, sadly. “He was singing rude songs about my dear mother while I still sat the Iron Throne. I decided that I would either wash his mouth out with soap or coat his hands with it so that they would slip on his strings as punishment. I asked him if he preferred his hands or his tounge. He answered hands, so I ordered Illyn Payne to pull out his tounge. I obviously wasn’t clear enough in my intention to simply wash it with soap, because before I knew it Illyn had taken me literally and pulled the poor man’s tounge clear out of his head! It was one of my darkest days in court. It will haunt me always. Be sure not to displease me minstrel, or I shall wash your mouth out with soap – and properly this time”.
“I would never dream of offending Your Grace” replied Matt Schmendrick solemnly, “I have travelled far and wide and I have never encountered such a pure and honourable soul as yo…”
“PIRATES!! REAVERS!! ALL HANDS ON DECK” interrupted a frantic cry from the crows nest.
Joffrey wheeled around to behold a huge dark fleet with flame coloured sails hurtling towards them at breakneck speed.
Bubba shaded his eyes and squinted “I see three winged shapes circling the fleet your Grace, but I can’t make them out”
“I have a crackpot theory” Matt suggested “I bet they’re wizards with great cloth wings… Any thoughts on that one guys?” Before Bubba and Joffrey could reply, the man in the crows nest let out a terrible cry “DRAGONS, Your Grace, they have DRAGONS!”
Joffrey’s handsome face grew pale. “Dragons!” he cursed. “We cannot hope to win this battle.” He turned to Bubba and Matt. “Listen, both of you. I possess great and terrible powers now, you must trust me. I shall change my face to hide my identity and we will surrender to the marauders. I swear to you, when we are their captives I will find a way to free us or bring them over to our cause. Are you with me?”
“Aye your Grace” swore Matt.
“To the bitter end” confirmed Bubba.
“Oh no”, murmured Joffrey with the faintest of smiles “the end will be sweet, my friends”
To be continued in the next instalment: A Captivating Captivity